A Love Story -- from a granddaughter's perspective

First, let me point out this disclaimer: this blog is about my Maciel grandparents, my father's parents. To blog about my other set is for another time. =)

Grandparents are interesting. Growing up, they were just that... grandparents. From where I stood, they weren't real people. They were just... my grandparents! They weren't parents or friends or neighbors. They certainly weren't a COUPLE. They weren't Husband and Wife for pete's sake... Gross! When I was little, they were a just people that spoiled me rotten and treated me like I hung the moon. They gave me advice and hugs and whatever kind of cake I wanted. They snuck money in my pocket and looked away when I stole a piece of candy from the bowl on the counter. I remember them both being good story-tellers but I never really paid much attention until I was an adult. I like pictures more than stories, I always have. However, losing my first grandparent and losing one that loved stories AND pictures makes me appreciate both very much myself.

A couple of weeks ago, as we prepared to say goodbye to my grandmother, we had the chance to look through pictures. And there were plenty! I think my grandmother had pictures stashed in every crack and crevice of her house. She got rid of a lot of things over the years but never photographs. Mixed in with all the photographs were receipts for portrait sessions in the 40's! Also mixed in were love letters. In the classic overseas envelopes with the red and blue stripes along the side. Old, old letters from when my grandfather was in the war and they wrote each other weekly. I started to read a few but felt like I was eavesdropping. What I did read, though, was the "darling" and "I love you dearly" and other such ways they began and ended each letter.

What I saw in most of those pictures and letters was a love story. A love story, sadly, that I never really realized was there because... again... they were just my grandparents. That week in Rhode Island was hard. Saying goodbye to my grandfather when it was time for me to go home was heartwrenching, to say the least. I literally felt like my legs wouldn't move. That my hands wouldn't start the car and that my feet couldn't possibly carry me away to the airport. I tell you this not out of pity, but to put things into perspective -- when I left, he said to me, "I hope to see you another time or two before I'm gone." That's where he is now. He just buried his wife of 68 years and it wasn't a shock to anyone. It wasn't a surprise to any of us, even to him, but we don't have to live with the sadness of missing someone that we spent 68+ years with, the other half of your own personal love story. The truth is, I'll be lucky if I see my grandfather a handful of times again before he's gone and that is very sad to him. But it has nothing on the emptyness I expect he feels from losing his wife. Not just his new wife or a wife of 20 years, but his wife of a lifetime. He told me he first kissed her when he was 20. That was nearly 75 years ago! Most of us hope that we merely LIVE to see 75 years.

He can't remember everything these days, but he recounts stories of how they met and where their first kiss was (a blueberry patch, not far from where he lives now) like they happened earlier that morning. Because they were the more important events of his life. What he had for breakfast? Not an important life event (for most people! I can hear some of you arguing infront of your computers!). A first kiss, a first date, walking hand-in-hand with the love of your life? Watching your children and grandchildren and, if you're lucky, your great-grandchildren grow? Those are life events.

 

It was very, very difficult to say goodbye to a woman that was so meaningful to me in so many ways. I hope I have her smile and her laugh when I'm 90. I hope I love and show my love the way she did. I already know that I love my husband like she loved hers. If you have grandparents, listen to their stories. Ask about pictures. Hug them now before you regret not doing it. If you are a grandparent, tell your stories. Take pictures. Your children and grandchildren may not get it now, but they will. Give them something to sift through when you're gone. What a legacy to leave by leaving behind the stories and pictures of your life events!

Odie

We lost my grandmother last night and there is nothing better to get me back to blogging than to talk about one of my grandparents. If I haven't told you yet (or you haven't heard me shouting it from the rooftops), I am beyond blessed to still have had all of my grandparents living. My children are 6 and 7 and knew well all of their great-grandparents. Goodness knows I've taken enough pictures of our trips to New England to help them remember my Papa John and Grandma Odie.

When we were there in May of this year, Odie's face lit up every time she saw my kids. Even in her fragile state (honestly, this tiny woman was always tiny, but she couldn't have been even 90lbs recently), she would watch my children play in her backyard, she played with their toys and tickled them and even colored with them at her kitchen table.

Odie was funny. Funny in every sense of the word. Funny in that she laughed a lot, whether it was because she truly thought something you said was humorous or because you offered to help her cook. In that case, that was really more of a "don't be ridiculous, I don't want you anywhere near my kitchen" laugh. I finally learned that particular laugh by the time I was about 25. She was funny because she was fun and kinda scary all at the same time. I never wanted to cross her, but I can't really remember why! As kids, we just did as we were told by her (and in our younger years, the cousins just did what we wanted, when we wanted... until she told us otherwise). She's the one that taught me to wait until everyone is seated to eat and to keep your elbows off the table. I'm sure my own parents would have taught me this eventually, but I have a feeling Odie started insisting on those rules before we were out of our high chairs. In recent years, she would laugh when we wouldn't eat without her. We were all scared to! But she would laugh at that, too.

I loved hearing her say my name, too. I was born in Providence but I have, in my opinion, a very southern name. When Odie said it, it was both southern and northern at the same time. I can hear it now, without the "r" at the end... Summa Lee. If you say it out loud in your best Charleston accent and then again in your best yankee version, they're very different, but very alike. And she's the only person I have ever known to use my full name, whether I was in trouble or not. It all just depended on the tone. ;)

She hated when I didn't speak up or when I mumbled, she nearly lost her mind when I bit my nails, and she was never afraid to tell me how she really felt. But good grief, did she love us. She really smiled when she talked about any of her grandchildren (or children or great-grandchildren). She loved to have us all together and she loved to talk about us all. She asked a lot of questions and praised us always.

 Hello Gorgeous!

 That's Kendall on Thanksgiving Day, 2006 (we have a birthday this week!)

 You maybe can't tell, but this is Odie this past May playing with my kids. My uncles had given my kids some Beanie Babies to play with and she was playing Keep Away. That's her sarcastic "you can't have them, they're mine" look.

 Lovely.

I always loved those hands. In my mind, they never changed a bit for as long as I can remember.

 

It's so cliche, but we truly were blessed by her. She was beautiful and giving and so, so kind. I miss her but one thing I know for certain, she's one happy lady getting to see my father again. I just hope he hasn't forgotten to keep his elbows off the table. =)

New England

Remember that month... the one that ended about 9 or 10 weeks ago, typically comes between April and June? I barely remember it, too, to be honest. Not only was it so long ago but it was all jam-packed with the end of school, preschool graduation, baseball practice and ballgames. Oh, and that little trip we took to New England.

A few people weren't so shy in telling me that I had lost my mind. I planned this trip somewhat on the fly and there was no way that we could have changed Chip's schedule around so that he could go. So I made plans to fly from Chattanooga (way cheaper, just so you know) into Providence with just the kids and myself. Let me summarize this trip for you.

We left Monday morning after packing up our suitcases once Chip had left for work. We leave at a decent time and zip down the interestate. Get half way to Chattanooga and realize I don't have my wallet. True story. Skip ahead-- we have an odd number of travellers. When we've flown before, it's been easy to split up parent-child. This time, not so much. I was appalled by the lack of southern hospitality in Chattanooga and in Charlotte. No one was moving. At one point, after holding the plane FOR US, we realize all three of us are split up in three different rows. It took the flight attendant's intervention and my crocodile tears before someone moved so at least my kids were able to sit next to each other.

We arrive in Providence after quite possibly my longest day ever, get our rental car and head on our way to our hotel at precisely 5:00PM. And it's raining. We check in, finally, and head next door to a TGI Friday's for a much-needed hot meal (and caffeine). We are seated and then wait. And continue to wait. I swear, all I wanted was a tea and absolutely ANYTHING for the kids. Long story very short, our meal was free. And I don't ask for free meals. Ever.

We go back to the hotel, swim in the indoor pool (which is basically what the kids think is going to be the highlight of our trip at this point) and head straight to bed. I'm awakened by Kendall coughing profusely. All night. When she finally settles down, Cooper is whining and complaining of stomach pains. Skip ahead past a wonderful but rainy day with family (more below) and the next night Cooper is awakened again after only an hour of sleep. Skip ahead to 3 AM and after phone calls to Daddy and our peds office, our pediatrician's oncall nurse is adament that he may have appendicitis and we are on our way to Hasbro Children's Hospital in downtown Providence. Again, at about 4AM.

In case you're worried, he didn't need surgery, we think it was a virus but man were we tired! Cooper thought it was WAY cool that he got to stay up all night (me, not so much). We eventually found a remedy for Kendall's airplane cough (I'm assuming) and the sun finally decided to shine the whole rest of our time there (well, mostly). It was a rocky start... scratch that, a rocky first half but it got way better. Flying by myself or navigating airports and rush hour traffic in a strange city was nothing compared to dealing with illnesses and ER visits in the middle of the night by myself.

We visited a working farm with Jay and Jeff near my grandparents' house in Bristol.

The kids love the New England beaches. Shells and rocks are a rare commodity in the south... not so much up north!

A picture at the water across from my grandparents' house. I hope we continue to get these pictures for years to come! The kids love it and it means the world to me that it is so fun for my kids.

Goodbye Photo.

Oh, THE stairs. So, so many pictures here over the past many, many decades!

My sweet grandmother doesn't get up off the couch, or even bed, very much. But by-golly she sure loved sitting on her screened porch watching my kids play with sticks and try to climb trees. Makes a heart happy.

Cousins in Newport (my favorite place on the planet, if anyone is keeping tabs)

Oh dear. Cousin Katy is sometimes not to be trusted, so I was a little scared.

It really was a very... interesting trip. This blog probably could have been 4-part with everything that happened while we were there (some may remember the naked 5 year old in the hotel pool) but luckily I waited several months to rehash it all.

Photo Shoot

I got a new camera recently. It's much like a golfer getting new golf clubs or a seamstress getting a new sewing machine... You aren't going to wait too long before using it for the first time. So, what do you do when your camera arrives around 5PM and the battery has to charge? You wait an hour, charge the battery then go to the backyard and take pictures of your dogs. Of course.
It's funny because just a few days ago we were saying we needed to take some pictures of the dogs. They are 12 and 13 (and the third is around there somewhere, if not much older) and we probably don't have any pictures of them from the past 5 years or more. Sad, but true.

 Logan is our Grumpy Old Man (on the left) and he became grumpy the minute we brought Macie home (on the right). We used to not be able to let small children get really close to him because he would growl (never bite, but scare us just enough). The kids can now cuddle him, nuzzle him, kiss his nose and even ride him and he couldn't be happier. At 13 years old, he literally gallops towards the kids when they go outside.

 My sweet, smiling puppies (Bluegrass on the top, Macie on the bottom)

This is what Kendall did while Cooper played with the dogs for the camera. She loves the dogs but wasn't too into the photo shoot part of it.

If I'm being completely honest here, we don't usually do this. I typically get our dogs groomed about 4 times a year. It requires loading all 3 in the back of my car and trying for 2 weeks afterwards to get rid of the smell. The kids asked if we could wash the dogs one day so that "they can be gray again." It didn't sound like fun to me, but I gave it a try... for the kids (and my wallet). It worked. It went surprisingly quick and the dogs didn't fight it too much. AND, everyone got cooled off.

Turning A Corner

Most of you know our traveling stories... Travel long distances, children get sick, adults get sicker, illness spreads like rapid wildfire. At least that's what typically happens until we head home, weak and exhausted.

This year, our annual Webb Family Vacay actually went off without a hitch. There was that pesky little Tropical Storm Debby that kept us off the beach for 2 days but it never rained and the pool was a lot of fun since the wind created a super-cool wave pool. There was also the evening when Cooper climbed into our bed before dinner and announced he was freezing cold and his stomach and his head and his throat hurt... which turned out to be a fever of 102 and a 7AM trip to the 24 hour clinic for antibiotics. However, the real victory came in one simple fact: There was no vomiting.

My vacations have now been able to be summarized by one question: Did anyone vomit? I'm not a fan of the the stomach bug. Just the term "stomach bug" makes me get out the Clorox Wipes, quite honestly. So, call me a bad mother, but I was actually happy that our illness de'jour this year was a 24 hour probable-Strep Throat diagnosis and it only effected one person (another miracle, but you probably already knew that, too).

The rest of the week was just perfect. Perfect weather. Perfect little sandbar that created the perfect little shallow river for children of all ages to play in safely all week. Everyone was perfectly happy and healthy (even Cooper would probably agree... he just played the Wii all day that he was sick so I never really heard him complain). The Webbs, I do officially declare, have turned a vacation corner!

 Stupid Debby.

Besides having pristine white sandy beaches and far less traffic than some of the other beaches, Orange Beach also allows us to be really close to our cousins!

Bring it on Vacation 2013... the Webbs are ready! 

Down Time

Aside from an occasional anniversary post, I don't post much about much except the kids. This past weekend, though, we got to indulge in a little "us time" and we couldn't have possibly had a better time. Last Christmas (yes, 7 months ago) our amazing staff had the foresight and just plain awesomeness to give us a gift card to the Whitestone Inn in Kingston. There isn't anything about this place that isn't perfect. It's a mere hour away, which when you don't leave your kids often (enough?) is pretty darn nice. The heat index HAD to be close to 110' or more but it didn't matter whatsoever.

We did SO much of nothing. SO much gloriously, mindless activity. It had so little to do with leaving our kids. Often, when adults go away, it's about needing "time" away from their daily lives, which so often includes the kids. I think we've had those times, but given that our kids are both, just about, in elementary school, the daily grind with them is more amusing and fun than stressful and exhausting. We learned towards the end of the first day that this was more about us than anything. As we sat on our backporch after dinner sipping lemonade talking about boats (as we stared at the lake) and college roommates and future houseplans and horses (as we stared at the ones infront of us) and our own back deck and computers and all sorts of other random things... we discovered that this time away just simply wasn't about needing a getaway from our busy lives. It was a perfectly-timed getaway to make us remember what it's like to take a few minutes to just sit on the backporch. Seriously. That's what I took from this.

I'm seriously considering moving our rocking chairs under the covered porch and sanding them to repaint them today. I already have the pretty red paint waiting. I just need to get it done so we can make some lemonade ASAP.

 The view from our canoe of Whitestone. We spent as much time in the Saturday morning heat as we could handle and paddled around Watts Bar Lake taking in the sites. It was by far one of the least competitive things we did all weekend.

 Quite a few hawks' nests on the lake. Mama did NOT like us paddling too close to this one.

 Our neighbors for the weekend.

 The view from our room. Lake, rolling fields, barns, and horses. Sign me up!

 Our dinner entertainment each night. The hummingbirds were amazing. I'm sure to some it wasn't that special, but I've never seen so many so close up for such a long period of time!

Before-dinner pictures... rare photos of just us!

We enjoyed competitive games of croquet (pretty sure Chip made the rules up, but that's fine. I love him anyway), shuffleboard (ask Chip who got his rear kicked in THAT game! We played that more than anything--someone was determined to win a game!!), and corn hole (I admit, I'm not the Corn Hole master, regrettably). We walked one trail and the trail won that "game" (my knee took quite a beating), and we napped and read and relaxed like I can't remember.

We owe a HUGE thanks to the girls at work. They're just AWESOME. Period. Also, our parents who I tried to arrange perfect 24 hour shifts with the kids. It gives me so much pleasure to go away for 2 straight days and never once worry about our kids. If I'm being painfully honest here, they literally FROWNED when we walked in on Sunday. I'm okay with it though... it means we ALL had a great weekend. 

Peace Offering

I was recently reminded, somewhat nicely, that I have been severly lacking in the blog department. I do miss it and I have, literally, no excuse whatsoever. How can there be an excuse for not doing something you enjoy so much? It's a combination of pictures and writing... two of my favorite things. If you figure that out, let me know. Meanwhile, I'm hoping those that care will accept this small peace offering of pictures from the past couple of months.  

 Easter. The kids painted their buckets and we began growing wildflowers. They LOVED watching them and watering them everyday. Until we went to the beach and forgot to have anyone water them. Oops.

 Easter family shot. A rare photo op for Mama Photographer. I swear there was a bow in that girl's hair, too, at some point. Maybe at church. Perhaps not. You never know.

 My sweet girl at the park... clearly before she lost those bottom 2 teeth!

 My boy... never to be left out.

 Family Day at Camp Wesley Woods after church in May. Canoeing is a big favorite for 3 of my family members. Me... no thanks. I don't like the idea of what lurks underneath the dark mountain pond water and I don't have complete confidence my husband wouldn't rock the boat just enough so that I could find out.

Mario birthday party for Coop. Along with candy (duh! job security!) we gave stick-on mustaches so the boys could look like Mario.

I'm saving the rest for later. We just got back from vacation, Kendall graduated from preschool, we had an interesting trip to New England and we've started and finished a great ball season... and thanks to Facebook, I may have already shared all my good picures. Hey... maybe that's my problem... two many double-postings of pictures. Maybe I need to learn to save the best for the blog!  

The Things We Learn...

... Well, I was going to say "in first grade" and then I quickly realized that we have preschool graduation to talk about, too. It's been an emotional week for me. We have finished both first grade and preschool. And by "finished preschool" I mean that quite literally. No more daycare checks. No more dropping off and picking up on the complete other side of town. As our friend Tommy puts it, we just got a pretty big pay raise. In both our monthly daycare budget and our gas use. I know all of those things will make me smile in a few months (like the first time we're home by 2:30, coming straight from picking both kids up from school at the same time). For now, though, I'm sad. I do not necessarily care for the "end of eras."

To adequately prepare yourself for this blog, you may want to look back to my blog in May 2011. When Cooper finished kindergarten, I was convinced there was no other teacher on the planet that could make our life as simple and wonderfully happy than Mrs. Johnson last year. Nope. No way. No how. I even stated something to the effect of "I will tell all future teachers that I adore them and that they are the best teacher EVER, but I won't mean it. I won't mean it, because Mrs. Johnson was the best teacher ever."

And... She WAS! Until we met Mrs. Bryant. Then there was some stiff competition. I quickly realized that we can have it both ways, have our cake and eat it, too, or whatever analogy you want to put on it. Mrs. J was perfect for us (yes, all of us) in kindergarten and Kendall has literally cried when I told her she very well may NOT get Mrs. J as HER kindergarten teacher. We even had to go visit Mrs. J when Kendall was with me at school this week. That said, I can't imagine a better teacher for Cooper's 1st grade year. And don't get me started on the assistant in the class, either. I mean, good grief... it was amazing. I love these women dearly and I only spent about 2 hours a week with them. I remember some very interesting characters in elementary school over at Ft. Craig, a "few" years ago. I don't remember too many warm and fuzzy teachers (well, except the guidance counselor, who literally handed out Warm Fuzzies). I'm sure my memory has faded a little since then, but one of the reasons I have loved our elementary teachers so much so far is that they truly LOVE my child. I mean, I know he's lovable (HELLO!), but they really love him. And I have seen some relatively not-so-easy to love kids in his classes and they LOVE them, too. I mean, literally, Mrs. B calls her kids "Love" when they ask her a question. She always has a hand on their back or their arm and I never heard her raise her voice.

My child went to school everyday and was welcomed into a loving, warm, happy environment. Every. Single. Day. So yes. I'm very sad. With each year that we have of blissful happiness, I worry that the next year is going to be just awful. But, then I remember which school we are at and my fears dwindle a bit. I couldn't look at the teachers in the eye today as we walked out. I had to leave as I felt my tears coming (I really don't cry pretty). I'm sure I'll watch Mrs. Bryant's year-end slideshow (complete with ridiculously sad music) at home later and cry like a first grader who missed out on one of those all-important warm fuzzies.

More later about Kendall's year-end. I literally can't handle writing anymore. I need to go look at some sunshine and rainbows for a while.

"Doesn't Make You Fat"

We were having a discussion about milk at the dinner table tonight. We were discussing the importance of Cooper buying milk every single day at lunch to grow big and strong and to be healthy. This is the rest of the conversation:

Cooper: I don't get chocolate milk anymore. I get the blue milk.
Me: Okay, I think that's fantastic.
Cooper: The blue milk doesn't make you fat.
Me: Why would the other milk make you fat? Did someone tell you that?
Cooper: No! The yellow milk and the chocolate milk say "FAT" on the back and the blue milk says "NO FAT."

Can't think of a time I've laughed harder with this kid.

A Day on the Water

I think the first line on the website that I read was something like this: "Have you ever heard a dolphin breathe?" Given that this was the kayak rental website, I was thrilled that I would get to hear many dolphins breathing along side our kayaks as we slowly paddled through the calm, salty bay waters of Gulf Shores. We were excited about this vacation. We are staying in a part of the Alabama gulf that we've never stayed at before. A quieter little neighbrhood away from all the spring breakers. There are more "Snowbirds" (a term we've just learned this month as we've searched for condos, all rented monthly by these, um, more "seasoned" vacationers) than families with young kids and it's wonderful. The pools aren't crowded and the beach is even less so. You look to the east of our beach and there is literally nothing. Just sand and water and slow rolling tides and splendid dunes. Given that we've spent a lot of time in long-sleeves and swimming in the indoor pool, we looked forward to golfing, kayaking, and visiting the cutest little zoo in the world in Gulf Shores. So, anyway... back to that day on the water...

The part of the website we MISSED: "backrests available." Yup. That would have been nice to know. My lower back is surprisingly working this morning. The fact that I can even type is even more surprising. As we paddled for nearly 4 hours, I thought for sure we'd be spending the day inside today, nursing our sore muscles. And those sweet little dolphin breaths? Yah, that never happened. Never saw as much as a fin pop up out of the water. Our backs hurt, our hips hurt, our arms hurt and our rears REALLY hurt. I have this weird splotchy sunburn on my shoulders and the kids are each burnt in one small spot under their left eye? Go figure. We saw a few fish pop out of the water and we saw seagulls. Lots and lots of seagulls. That was it. That was all. But you know what? It was the BEST part of our vacation so far. The kids never whined and were so happy the entire time. It was a glorious day!

We stopped for sandwiches along the way at a dock under a restaurant. We "had" to buy candy at a candy store so we didn't feel guilty using their bathroom.

Greetings from Alabama!